My child does not want to go to school: what can I do to help him?

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At the beginning of each school year , the children are divided into two blocks: those who can’t wait to go back and the others, who are just stressing about thinking about it. This anxiety linked to the start of the school year can also be accentuated in the youngest children entering kindergarten.

Your youngest entering kindergarten may experience a mixture of feelings that he does not manage to identify very well himself. Behind the stimulating idea of ​​finally finding oneself in the world of grown-ups hides certain apprehensions: those of leaving mum and dad, of meeting a new teacher, new adults, the fear of being incapable of learning on their own, to get lost in a school that is not theirs and the anguish, certainly unidentified, that you, parents, experience at the idea of ​​abandoning them in the arms of strangers, in the big school.

It is obvious that for you too,Your child’s entry into kindergarten is emotionally charged. And he feels it! You may be afraid of not liking the teacher he will have, you are afraid that he will not make friends, that he will be rejected, that he will experience failures and above all cultivate a feeling of helplessness. to know it you leave a little to follow its own way. This is perfectly normal!

Tell him about your personal experiences

Children see us a bit like superheroes, us parents. They think that we are not afraid of anything, that we fear nothing. Believing that they are alone in feeling anxious can increase that feeling fivefold. Tell him about your first experience at school, a time that intimidated you, where you felt anxiety, stress. He will normalize how he feels and everything will be much easier for him afterwards.

As a parent,we believe that telling him “it’s nothing” can reassure him, but in reality, it could well increase his stress, give him the impression that he is the only one in the world to experience these feelings. Talking about your experience can also open the way for discussion. You can also tell him about your return to work experience if you had it in the fall; the apprehensions you had may resemble his.

If, along the way, you meet children of his age in the neighborhood, give him the chance to get to know his future “friends”. If he knows one or two faces on the first day of school, integration will perhaps be easier.

If it’s a nervous little, a worried child, it’s a safe bet that he will experience stress during his first week of school. You will see, he will come back exhausted the first few times. Everything is so new!

On the first day of school, if he seems very nervous or has a stomach ache, why not take the time to walk him briskly to school? The exercise that you will do together will channel his stress and he is likely to better face the novelty afterwards.

Don’t worry if he doesn’t want to have breakfast the first few mornings. Anxiety is probably making his stomach knot. Put a nutritious and healthy snack in his school bag. When, as the days go by, the stress has subsided, then you can insist that he eats lunch, the most important meal of the day.

Show her ways to calm down

If you have an anxious child , teach him that he must live with this state which will surely return during the important stages in his life. Excessive brooding will only amplify his anxieties in the future.

Most schools benefit from the help of a specialized educator. She is there to help children who have behavioral problems, who disturb the class or who do not want to comply with the rules, but she can also help your offspring if he is very anxious or shy. If you think this kind of help could benefit him, ask for it.

Due to the glaring lack of personnel, it is unfortunately possible that you will not have access to this precious help at this time. You may need to go private. But in any case, do not hesitate to discuss with your child’s teacher who will at least know that you support him and who can give you some advice .

The return of the greatest

In the case of the older ones who already know the world of school, there are those who do well both academically and socially and who are eager to find their teachers, their friends and tackle new

If your child says he doesn’t like school, doesn’t want to go back, sit down with him and take stock of the positive experience she has experienced over the past year. Maybe he’s not very successful academically, but he surely learned some interesting things. If he says no, maybe he likes sports, art, history, school friends, daycare, a particular activity, etc. Apart from the results which stress the schoolchildren a lot, there is certainly something positive.

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